Dear Pregnancy,

Dear Pregnancy,

I really appreciate the opportunity that you have given me to procreate. I understand how hard the decision must have been. Throughout this journey I feel that you have spared me from some awful times. So far the only real bugger of a symptom, that visit's occasionally, is heartburn. Needless to say I feel that you treat me pretty well. With that being said I have one request.

Please don't embarrass me anymore. Today while golfing, you allowed the gas you've given me to make a public debut. In front of my caddie. During a practice swing. Hard to pull that one off when your standing on grass. No, 'I am sorry that must have been the chair' excuses, just silence where we both look at each other and try to move on from the awkwardness.

If you promise to keep the gas private from now on I promise to not complain for the last 12 weeks. It's one thing for this to happen during a pregnancy yoga class filled with other ticking time bombs but in front of a 20 year male who doesn't speak English, have a kid, or wife. Seriously, you pulled a fast one on me. I will be watching you with a careful eye but as promised I will not complain.

Thank you for your consideration and time. Have a wonderful day.

Tchau,
Sara