Most of the time I try to be very positive because negativity breeds like wildfire. I have tried to make the best of living in another country seeing the good in everything. Both of us have made really great friends, traveled South America and have even been trying to learn another language but Brazil never will be home. We will always be working to somehow return to our families in the States.
When we left both of us went with the attitude that good or bad one can handle anything for a year. Well our year marker is over due and we are working toward year two. Maybe I am just tired.
Tired of everything being a challenge. Why can't just one thing be easier for me to do here. I miss being independent and not having to rely on anybody. I miss having a car or some form of transportation. Here I feel so trapped. Maybe I do need to buy a car but I still cannot justify the price.
Simple example of something easy being hard:
We need to wrap a gift, a digital picture frame, but have no bags or wrapping paper. In the states this wouldn't even be a problem. Maybe to figure out which color of tissue paper to stuff the bag but that's about it. You can probably buy the gift and the wrapping paper at the same place.
Nate gives me a task for the day to get wrapping paper or something similar. Go to the grocery store- Nothing. Go to the drug store- Nothing. Keep in mind I am walking. I call Nate and I have to tell him the one thing he asked me to do I could not accomplish. He then has to stop by Walmart on the way home to pick up something but found nothing suitable (which secretly made me feel better). Here are the options he brought home:
One large weird see through bag which I wrapped a box fan for the example.
One small bag that doesn't even hold half of the gift.
(I had a picture here but blogger messed it up.... fail)
New plan: focus on being happy and drive the negative out. This weekend hopefully Nate and I can get back to neutral and move forward with our life in Brazil. One more year. I can do this.
Tchau,
Sara
I know how you feel.... but it will pass. We all have our good days, weeks, months or even years and our bad ones. Try to do something fun or special for yourself to take your mind off things.
ReplyDeleteSara - sorry to here your re-entry has been one big misfire.
ReplyDeleteIn terms of the car -- consider making a specific relationship with a taxi driver who works near you. It won't be that expensive and you can feel like you have easy transportation on call, so you will feel/be more independent.
Good luck. Hang in there.
Sara,
ReplyDeleteI so sorry, it must be very frustrating what you are going thru...
I like Jim's idea, my brother and his wife have been using the same Taxi driver all over Sao Paulo, he will allow them to bring the dog into the Taxi and will pick them up all over the place and they do have a car, they just walk all over and call the Taxi if when they are tired or it starts raining.
Keep one thing in mind, in Brazil if you buy a car for let's say 20K Reais, it will cost almost that same amount when you are ready to sell it. It's not like in the US that cars loose value so quickly.
It is an investment in your comfort and independence and you can sell it when you leave and keep almost all your money.
I am from Brazil and I get frustrated about little things like that too when I go back home...I suggest one step at a time, breath in and move on to the next step.
Macae is a very small town that because of the oil boom grew too fast and many sides of life haven't been able to catch up with the population grow.
Just 10 years ago this was a small fishing village with a much lower income population.
Make sure to ask around and find a gift store or an office or party supply store so next time you will know where to go...
It sure beats my mind that Walmart wouldn't carry enough of a choice of gift wrapping options...maybe the demand is too small...
Well, ask around, usually a small gift store will have options and perhaps even wrap the gift for you...so next time you won't stress over this...
Good luck, hang in there!
Ray
Y'all are right about the taxi bit... I have been talking about doing that for months but never get around to it. It seems that tomorrow will always be the day that I call a taxi to go to centro :) I need to just suck it up and do it already.
ReplyDeleteI know this feeling will pass and life will move forward like always. I was just really surprised to feel this way and not be able to shake it. Nothing a good trip to Buzios can't fix right?
Jim I took your advice from earlier this week and walked in the rain with a friend for some Acai and I have to say it did put a smile on my face!
Thanks for all understanding and not judging.
oh friend!! I miss you! U so deserve a negative week.. you are always the most positive and uplighting person! I also think that the pregnancy hormones probably have something to do with it seeming like nothing at all is going as planned.. Hormones can tend to do that to you. I think we need a skype date or even a phone call.. can we chat tomorrow?? I miss you already..Dont buy yourself the journal:) k:) I might get it for you.. might:) wink wink! So glad you are not affected by the flooding.. I have been worried about you!!
ReplyDeleteAlso, I think I need weekly bump pics on this blog now too!!! Love you
Sara - if your level of Portuguese is keeping you from connecting with a taxi driver, ask around for one who speaks a little English. There are bound to be a few. Any driver would LOVE to have a regular customer. Put his number in your cell and you are good to go!
ReplyDeleteI must really have played down my Portuguese :) I am comfortable enough with the language for all daily activities including all workout classes, shopping, dining, and directions. What I have a problem with is the accents and hearing sometimes which frustrates me. Unless a person is looking me in the eye and speaking clearly I have problems and usual have to ask them to repeat.
ReplyDeleteWhat stops me from already having a driver is basically being scared to do it the first time by myself. Sad to admit but it is true. Once I have done it then I am good to go but I need that little extra push for some reason!! I just need to do it!
It's ok, it really will pass. I went through a really difficult period that lasted for almost 6 weeks and I just couldn't shake it.
ReplyDeleteThis year is my second year here and I made some new goals for myself to accomplish. Tackling them makes you really appreciate the small successes - because the small successes, when you're an expat, are actually the biggest ones.
Hang in there! You really can do it.